good morning baby, I love you so much. I slept really good but had a dream that created some sadness that i am having trouble shaking this morning. I hate it when that happens. I don’t often tell you about it because I hate the way it makes you feel. 🙁 But I miss you , Jerry. And i know you know how I feel. You’re the only one who does. This hurts. I really hope I can just talk to you in this letter and it not be something bad. Please just read and discard. Sometimes i just want to get it out and not make it be more. Does that make sense?
I am blessed that I have things to distract my mind, but often times it is so difficult to not just climb into my bed and stay there and cry. It feels like a different kind of heartbreak. The kind that loves so deeply and can hear the love so close but can’t touch it or see it and it brings a new meaning to heartbreak. My heart is breaking because they keep trying to take you away from me. But I praise God we are both safe and healthy and can still communicate. My heart is breaking for the things this world has and is putting you through. But I thank God you are alive, warm (mostly), clothed and semi fed. My heart is breaking because I can’t hug you. But I am thankful to God that one day I will, after so many others won’t be able to.
My heart is breaking because I just want to see you smile at me. But praise Jesus, i can hear your laughter through a phone. My heart breaks every night when I lay in bed and just want to be held by you. But thankful for God that He wraps around me and shuts off the thoughts so I can sleep and He can bring you to me in my dreams.
I miss you. God, I MISS YOU.
I don’t miss having ‘someone’ next to me. i miss YOU. YOU!
Some days are heavier than others. today is one of those days. I don’t share most of them with you, I just cover them up.
But today, My heart hurts for my husband. My heart just hurts and i don’t know how to fix it all the time. I just miss you.
I love you Jerry. I love the way you love me. I am just struggling today but it will pass. I miss you terribly.
